I’ve had a really shitty day. Like really shitty. It hasn’t been out of the blue either. It’s been a really shitty month. Maybe even a couple of months. And it’s within these couple of months that I got engaged. But even if I weigh my diamond ring and the potential for marital bliss that it represents against all the shit, the shit would win out. By a lot.
I think about 5 minutes ago I imagined walls collapsing around me. I literally visualized bricks shattering around me. About an hour ago, I heard my bubble shatter as reality hit it at the speed of light. This bubble made me believe I was safe. Bulletproof even. I was wrong. Nothing is bulletproof.
Knowing that I was beyond the stage where I always seriously consider running away, I walked up to the subway platform to catch the train that would take me home. This is when I noticed the extremely pretty girl, with translucent skin and hair like strands of gold waiting at the platform. She held on tight to a white stick in her hand. One that is her constant companion. She was blind.
The subway pulled in. The girl with the Golden hair was caught in the middle of two doors. I stared at her as she struggled to find a way in.
As someone who is only partially blind without her glasses, I rush into the subway (always with my glasses on) as soon as it arrives because it never seems to stays at the platform long enough. Which is what I did today, while keeping my eyes on the girl who was still struggling to find the door. I panicked for her. I panicked that she would miss the train because she couldn’t find the goddamn door. Which isn’t the end of the world but incredibly unfair. So I rushed out towards her. Not wanting to invade her personal space I said “this way” and pointed at the door.
I know what you are thinking but Shhhhhh. I’ve had a shitty day. My brain is fried. Regardless, my directions seemed to work. The girl followed me and got on the train.
I’ve often been told to be grateful for what I have because someone out there definetly has it worse. That logic never made sense to me. Why should someone else’s misery make me feel better about myself? How does their pain make mine any less important? I never understood it until today. Now it’s pretty clear.
Yes my day (and month) has been pretty shitty. But im grateful for
The food in my belly
The food in my bag
My dad and mom that have always been there for me, no matter what.
My coworkers. They are a smart bunch of amazing people.
My friends, specially those who can make me laugh till it hurts.
This slice of heaven
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.