I write this as I pretend to pay attention in my finance class. I have no idea what the prof is saying. I hardly ever do. If I do sometimes catch on, he loses me quickly after. I took this course to learn something. That is not happening. So I sit here and blog for the first time in a while.
We have a lot to catch up on.
You are all I have now
I just deleted all other blogs I was running. All of them. The burden of feeding them all was a little too much. Which meant I did not feed any. I missed writing, tremendously. So I figured if I picked one and committed to it, I wouldn’t get caught up in decision making anymore. I would just write. So I finally swallowed the pill and did it. I picked The Heart’s Quest. You are all I have now 🙂
I also got a tattoo last week (my third). It says “Be Present”. I could not believe that I committed to a phrase. I have always struggled with finding “the secret” of life. I have been through many phrases that I thought were the answer to life. These included “love”, “what goes around comes around”, “the law of attraction is the answer”, “persist”, “you can do anything if you believe you can”. While all these phrases have some truth to them, none of them stuck around long enough. They were never all encompassing. I think “Be Present” is. It is where all the other phrases live. It reminds me not to get lost in my head and miss out on life which is passing me by. To trust in the universe.
What does living in your head mean (in case you were wondering) ? Have you ever watched scrubs? I just finished watching all the seasons for the second time (last night). I do what JD does. But in a less entertaining fashion. If I want to do something (eg. take on a project) I run through all possible scenarios of how it might end up in my head before I take the project on. 99% of the time, when I run these scenarios in my head, I end up giving up on a project before even starting on them. I get scared that everything will turn out for the worst.
This has obviously not served me well. Whenever I decide to do things without any forethought, they usually turn out tremendously well. All three tattoos on my body were without much forethought. I love them all like my children. Some of my favourite experiences (MBA, running a student organization, taking a recruitment role, chasing executive recruitment) were all results of decisions I made spontaneously. Yes, the MBA was one of these. I only studied for the GMAT exam for 2 weeks. That is all the time I had.
So I have made a life long commitment to “Be Present”. It is where I can truly live. It is home.
I am still going. As often as I can. I went last night. I did everything. Core (Russian twists and 3 kinds of crunches), legs (physio) and arms (weights). Everything hurts. So much so that I could not sleep last night. I woke up and stared at the ceiling for a while. I might have gone too hard. The next few days will be spent away from the machines and medicine balls. I need to recover.
I cant believe I am still going at it, but I have reached Day 10 of the #100daysofplaydoh project on Instagram. It is getting hard to come up with new ideas every night. But I have yet to give up. Check it out!
I shall be travelling to Switzerland and Paris this summer. I am super excited. All the bookings have been confirmed. I cannot wait for school to end so that I can hop on a plane. I LOVE AIRPORTS. I also can’t wait to see the alps. Or the Eiffel Tower. Or take pretty pictures. Take evening strolls in the streets of Paris. And relax.Press pause on my life behind and escape for a while. See new things. Have new experiences. Breathe different air. No seriously. And obviously I am super excited to share it all with you. I hope I have access to the net while I am in Europe. If not, ill just save my posts and publish them all as soon as I get back!
The only thing I am not looking forward to is eating plane food. That is often an unpleasant experience.
If you do have any suggestions for what I should do when I get to Paris/Switzerland please let me know through your comments. I would really appreciate it !
There is a lot more we need to catch up but I think ill stick with my philosophy of “Be Present” and stop rehashing the past on this blog post. I will however post more often and let you know what life whispers to me, when it does.
Till next time!